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Archive for February, 2007

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Suddenly I know the secret of happiness
and where to find it!
But before I push off to swim
toward that shore,
I want one final glimpse of my old friends,
Darkness and Despair.

I want to say out loud, one last time,
what doesn’t work,
what has never worked, and,
what will never work.
Just to help you understand.

Perhaps if you and I know this, it will save you–
it will save me–
it will save us.
It’s like the night before my diet begins,
when I range through the kitchen and then the convenience store,
devouring one last serving of what no longer serves me.

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“What makes the engine go?
Desire, desire, desire,
The longing for the dance.
stirs in the buried life…
…Touch me
remind me who I am.”
STANLEY KUNITZ, Touch Me

There is a way that my life assembles itself. I never really know the “next thing” until it becomes vaguely visible on the horizon. I often sense that change is immanent; that something is gestating–developing in the dark; somewhere deep in the earth or underwater. I’m in that place now.

I’ll tell you what I think I know about this “something.” It relates to writing and seeing and understanding. My felt sense is that it will be some kind of grand synthesis…a way that I will put my work into language…a way that I will make an offering…a way that I will know and contribute to wholeness.

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Yesterday I went on an afternoon walk. Route 218 is closed to traffic most of the winter for fear of rockslides and it’s a magnificent place to walk and muse.

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When I walk with my camera, I see the world differently…I am aware of the richness of detail, the small things.

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I am reminded of the William Carlos Williams‘ poem:

so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white chickens.

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Standing on the rock ledge overlooking the Hudson River puts everything into perspective. I am humbled by the natural world: the silence, the order, the perfection, the scale.

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Alfred North Whitehead once said, “No language can be anything but elliptical, requiring a leap of imagination to understand its meaning in its relevance to immediate experience.”

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How do we arrive at “shared meaning?” As the writer, I depend on you, the reader, to leap into my world–to take what you will; to grapple with my opinions and my aesthetic. Here is my invitation: I will offer my images and ideas…my hope is that you will respond…that our relating will be elliptical.

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There’s nothing like late afternoon light…it opens a different angle of mind and of heart. Seeing differently, thinking differently, I’ve spent the last six hours editing photos I shot today and–inspired by my daughter Sara, I’m going to begin musing and posting…maybe not daily…probably not daily…this is a beginning!

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